[Mb-civic] ELOQUENT & PAINFUL: A Life, Wasted - Paul E. Schroeder - Washington Post Op-Ed

[William Swiggard]

A Life, Wasted
Let's Stop This War Before More Heroes Are Killed

By Paul E. Schroeder
Tuesday, January 3, 2006; A17

Early on Aug. 3, 2005, we heard that 14 Marines had been killed in 
Haditha, Iraq. Our son, Lance Cpl. Edward "Augie" Schroeder II, was 
stationed there. At 10:45 a.m. two Marines showed up at our door. After 
collecting himself for what was clearly painful duty, the lieutenant 
colonel said, "Your son is a true American hero."

Since then, two reactions to Augie's death have compounded the sadness.

At times like this, people say, "He died a hero." I know this is meant 
with great sincerity. We appreciate the many condolences we have 
received and how helpful they have been. But when heard repeatedly, the 
phrases "he died a hero" or "he died a patriot" or "he died for his 
country" rub raw.

"People think that if they say that, somehow it makes it okay that he 
died," our daughter, Amanda, has said. "He was a hero before he died, 
not just because he went to Iraq. I was proud of him before, and being a 
patriot doesn't make his death okay. I'm glad he got so much respect at 
his funeral, but that didn't make it okay either."

The words "hero" and "patriot" focus on the death, not the life. They 
are a flag-draped mask covering the truth that few want to acknowledge 
openly: Death in battle is tragic no matter what the reasons for the 
war. The tragedy is the life that was lost, not the manner of death. 
Families of dead soldiers on both sides of the battle line know this. 
Those without family in the war don't appreciate the difference.

This leads to the second reaction. Since August we have witnessed 
growing opposition to the Iraq war, but it is often whispered, hands 
covering mouths, as if it is dangerous to speak too loudly. Others 
discuss the never-ending cycle of death in places such as Haditha in 
academic and sometimes clinical fashion, as in "the increasing lethality 
of improvised explosive devices."

Listen to the kinds of things that most Americans don't have to 
experience: The day Augie's unit returned from Iraq to Camp Lejeune, we 
received a box with his notebooks, DVDs and clothes from his locker in 
Iraq. The day his unit returned home to waiting families, we received 
the second urn of ashes. This lad of promise, of easy charm and 
readiness to help, whose highest high was saving someone using CPR as a 
first aid squad volunteer, came home in one coffin and two urns. We 
buried him in three places that he loved, a fitting irony, I suppose, 
but just as rough each time.

I am outraged at what I see as the cause of his death. For nearly three 
years, the Bush administration has pursued a policy that makes our 
troops sitting ducks. While Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice told the 
Senate Foreign Relations Committee that our policy is to "clear, hold 
and build" Iraqi towns, there aren't enough troops to do that.

In our last conversation, Augie complained that the cost in lives to 
clear insurgents was "less and less worth it," because Marines have to 
keep coming back to clear the same places. Marine commanders in the 
field say the same thing. Without sufficient troops, they can't hold the 
towns. Augie was killed on his fifth mission to clear Haditha.

At Augie's grave, the lieutenant colonel knelt in front of my wife and, 
with tears in his eyes, handed her the folded flag. He said the only 
thing he could say openly: "Your son was a true American hero." Perhaps. 
But I felt no glory, no honor. Doing your duty when you don't know 
whether you will see the end of the day is certainly heroic. But even 
more, being a hero comes from respecting your parents and all others, 
from helping your neighbors and strangers, from loving your spouse, your 
children, your neighbors and your enemies, from honesty and integrity, 
from knowing when to fight and when to walk away, and from understanding 
and respecting the differences among the people of the world.

Two painful questions remain for all of us. Are the lives of Americans 
being killed in Iraq wasted? Are they dying in vain? President Bush says 
those who criticize staying the course are not honoring the dead. That 
is twisted logic: honor the fallen by killing another 2,000 troops in a 
broken policy?

I choose to honor our fallen hero by remembering who he was in life, not 
how he died. A picture of a smiling Augie in Iraq, sunglasses turned 
upside down, shows his essence -- a joyous kid who could use any prop to 
make others feel the same way.

Though it hurts, I believe that his death -- and that of the other 
Americans who have died in Iraq -- was a waste. They were wasted in a 
belief that democracy would grow simply by removing a dictator -- a 
careless misunderstanding of what democracy requires. They were wasted 
by not sending enough troops to do the job needed in the resulting 
occupation -- a careless disregard for professional military counsel.

But their deaths will not be in vain if Americans stop hiding behind 
flag-draped hero masks and stop whispering their opposition to this war. 
Until then, the lives of other sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers 
and mothers may be wasted as well.

This is very painful to acknowledge, and I have to live with it. So does 
President Bush.

The writer is managing director of a trade development firm in Cleveland.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/02/AR2006010200974.html
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